Government

So it's been a while coming (I've been so complicated I couldn't be simple!)

Today's simplification is in fact, "Government"

Now most people believe it is a uniform of civilization, a way of keeping things neat and orderly.

But the truth of the matter is that it is NOT orderly.


Government is simply a bunch of people so bad at living their own lives they have to tell people how to live their own.

BBQ

BBQ

What is BBQ you might ask? Is it some sort of dish you eat at a picnic? Is it Barbecue? Or is it some sort of hidden government project that we just can't comprehend? I didn't know, and so for you my readers. I went out to find out.

I discovered it isn't simple. It's basically a cheap and easy form of grilled food. While it may seem like barbecue. It is not. It is a congenial mess of imitation this, and fried that. The flavor is gross and it is a lie.

I used to think the cake was a lie.

I now know BBQ is a lie.

Visually Stunning

Visually Stunning

At first the above seems simple. You think it's porn. Or maybe you think it's a nude bar. Perhaps you even suspect this to be something like an effing explosion!

Well you're wrong. Visually stunning accompanies all those movie trailers and game teasers, because they know that's what you're thinking! In truth it's nothing more then a load of bullshit! A sort of "eye diarrhea". When a movie poster say's Visually Stunning it actually means (Please read this aloud with the use of an urban tone of voice):


"Yo dis shite be so fake that ya'll bitches be like whoa that's tight yo."

It's not that though. It's actually just a bunch of pictures that shouldn't be animated... Well animated. We're wising up though! We'll one day be able to combat their use of urban slang!

Visually Stunning is "Eye diarrhea".

Punk Rock

Punk Rock

So I discovered recently that there are a lot of bands calling themselves punk rock. And I want to clarify to the normal people what this means.

Punk rock is difficult to explain, if only because rock is almost always awesome.

So I guess I'll keep this simple.

Punk Rock, is rock for kids who are mad at their parents.

Of course once upon a time it was a genre that deserved mention, sadly the above is all it is now.

Keep it simple =)

Emo

Emo

Emo is this craze that's been running around more and more lately. It's apparently short for "Emotional", but the saddest part is the idiots populating our world have decided to claim it for themselves and complicate it.

Emotions are a plethora of things. From happy to sad, to angry, and yes. Even horny is an emotion.

Still these self-proclaimed "Emo"'s (Not to be confused with Elmo's Which we'll cover another time...) Are always sad and distressed. They've turned the word Emo from a simple way of saying Emotional, into a derranged and pathetic word for Sad!

It's three letters you fuck heads DONT CHANGE IT!

In short, Emo is Emotional.

Emo's are fuckheads.

Scientology

Scientology

Scientology is one of our new age religions. It's a religion founded by some guy who wrote science-fiction novels and decided, "Hey. People love this shit. Maybe they'll worship it!" Lo-and-Behold it went public, gained celebrity status thanks to being an "Interesting" thing. And now they're not only a large religion. They have a fucking battleship.

But in short I have read on them and basically this is a religion for people who want to say they're in a religion. It's one of those, "Well Tom Cruise believes" sorts of things. To me personally. It's a load of bullshit. All the rumors might have basis, or they might not.

But simply to me...

Scientology: It's a club with a battle ship.

NRA

The N.R.A.

Put simply the N.R.A. is the National Rifle Association. Though to me that isn't at all simple. It's complicated. Do rifles need a club? Do they frolic and play when we're not watching? Do they need discounts at stores like AARP members?

Or is this some kind of enthusiasts club? Maybe a sort of de-facto racial profiling group? Well I've found the answer.

The N.R.A. is a small penis club.

That's the truth folks. That's all it is. They're not solely for a minority group. They don't limit membership to just Republicans. And they're not really any sort of true purpose group. These are just men (And women) who have tiny penis' and want to feel better.

First Post: An Explanation.

So I'm starting another blog. I figure I need to broaden my horizons. And well... I made a discovery recently.

THE WORLD IS COMPLI-FUCKING-CATED

What I mean of course. Is what I said above. The world is complex. I don't like it that way. I personally feel the world should be simple, and that it CAN be simple.



I know what you're thinking, but how can you do that? By making it easier for all of us retards (Oh no I made a retard comment!).


This blog will take all the complex shit I see and read about. And it will simplify into a few words. I will of course go into great detail about the actual subject, to prove how complicated it is. Then I will simplify it.

I believe scientists and doctors and... Well those smart people made things this way. They want to fuck with you and I, they want us to believe a banana is a fruit and not just FOOD. They want us to think that LOL means laugh out loud and not just LOL!


So subscribe. And be prepared to see how simple shit can actually be.